When we look around us these days, it seems as if marriage is a thing people try once or twice... As if the glue that keeps people together is of a bad kind. Because it's not keeping people really together!
On the other hand, I see great couples that have kept the 'vibe' between them! The once that are married for about 40 years - and still have the other person make them laugh. Or still make the other person hold their hands! I love being a witness of those moments! Love is a beautiful thing.
Having been married for almost 9 years makes me no expert by any measure ... yet I can tell you honestly that I've never been more in love with my wife than before. And truth be told, she has never been more attracted to me (of course!)
Here are 5 things I keep in front of me that keep my marriage strong. And these might chance trough time - but for now they work GREAT!
1. Keep dating!
For some people this is completely normal - but for too many couples it seems that dating was something of the past. But it shouldn't. Because if dating is something of the past - one day you'll wake up and wonder: what happened to you?!! You never noticed the changes that took place in your partner!
Dating to me is setting aside time to spend with my wife. Not just to go shopping together, or watch a movie on the coach. No, I want to make sure it's time to really talk. Like the time we first started hanging out!
When you 'date' like this, you allow yourself to really see where your spouse is going. Some people I know that divorced told me: when I look back it just seemed our ways had grown apart. When you date, you keep noticing that when it happens...not when it is to late. When you notice it, you can stir on it.
2. Ask her what time she needs you home
This one might seem a little absurd. But do you know what time of day your wife needs you most? Is she an evening person, or more a morning star? Is there a moment in the day your household seem to explode? Are there days in the week your wife is walking on her toes to make things happen?
For us that means that in this period of our lives I make a commitment to BE home by 5pm. That's about the time Tatiana has heard enough toddler arguments and is tired of keeping the house from falling apart. Its also a brief window of time I get to physically invest in the lives of my two (soon to be three) little heroes.
Find her love language, and then speak it
There is a great book called: the five love languages. This book explains in very plain English how different people feel loved in different ways. And if you speak the wrong language to the right person - it simply won't work! It's like going to the south of French and trying to speak English - they might give you the impression they understand you - but they don't! I discovered that to show Tatiana I really care for here - I need to spent quality time with her! That means that when we are together, she really needs me to be there. Not answering my mail when she is telling me about her day. Not watching a movie 'together' while I'm reading a book - because the movie is just not that interesting. Chick-flicks are a great test of love...sitting trough one of those with your wife helps our marriage to stay strong. Not because of great advise - but because we're laughing at the same stupid stuff...and have something to refer to when funny things happen!
I have two more that are worth reading - they will follow soon. First you might check if you can use any of these - and maybe they got you to think about ideas for yourself! Share them - so we all can be better husbands!
On the other hand, I see great couples that have kept the 'vibe' between them! The once that are married for about 40 years - and still have the other person make them laugh. Or still make the other person hold their hands! I love being a witness of those moments! Love is a beautiful thing.
Here are 5 things I keep in front of me that keep my marriage strong. And these might chance trough time - but for now they work GREAT!
1. Keep dating!
For some people this is completely normal - but for too many couples it seems that dating was something of the past. But it shouldn't. Because if dating is something of the past - one day you'll wake up and wonder: what happened to you?!! You never noticed the changes that took place in your partner!
Dating to me is setting aside time to spend with my wife. Not just to go shopping together, or watch a movie on the coach. No, I want to make sure it's time to really talk. Like the time we first started hanging out!
When you 'date' like this, you allow yourself to really see where your spouse is going. Some people I know that divorced told me: when I look back it just seemed our ways had grown apart. When you date, you keep noticing that when it happens...not when it is to late. When you notice it, you can stir on it.
2. Ask her what time she needs you home
This one might seem a little absurd. But do you know what time of day your wife needs you most? Is she an evening person, or more a morning star? Is there a moment in the day your household seem to explode? Are there days in the week your wife is walking on her toes to make things happen?
For us that means that in this period of our lives I make a commitment to BE home by 5pm. That's about the time Tatiana has heard enough toddler arguments and is tired of keeping the house from falling apart. Its also a brief window of time I get to physically invest in the lives of my two (soon to be three) little heroes.
Find her love language, and then speak it
There is a great book called: the five love languages. This book explains in very plain English how different people feel loved in different ways. And if you speak the wrong language to the right person - it simply won't work! It's like going to the south of French and trying to speak English - they might give you the impression they understand you - but they don't! I discovered that to show Tatiana I really care for here - I need to spent quality time with her! That means that when we are together, she really needs me to be there. Not answering my mail when she is telling me about her day. Not watching a movie 'together' while I'm reading a book - because the movie is just not that interesting. Chick-flicks are a great test of love...sitting trough one of those with your wife helps our marriage to stay strong. Not because of great advise - but because we're laughing at the same stupid stuff...and have something to refer to when funny things happen!
I have two more that are worth reading - they will follow soon. First you might check if you can use any of these - and maybe they got you to think about ideas for yourself! Share them - so we all can be better husbands!
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